Archive for December, 2015

Stakhanov’s got a hernia, but he’s still as ardent as ever. Pain and suffering, betrayal and mortality, grains of sand kicked in his face.

Stakhanov’s got a hernia. He’s frustrated, but he does what he can.

He lives in the moment. He lives in the past. Still, he wonders: what will the future bring?

But my spirits were raised, somewhat,

pervertedly,

when I saw the bitch outside, in her fluffy dressing gown,

time almost Noon.

Young woman, pretty, blonde (with dark roots); gold digger, femme fatale; struggling to do a chore.

The cunt reminded me of my grandmother.

Contempt will make this job so much easier.

Eva.

Posted: 2015-12-30 in Anja, Thoughts For The Day

Too many coins and yet not enough.

Everything and nothing to say.

It’s been that kind of year.

Rough.

Constantly compromised by people & things, weather conditions, impositions, others, that’s what life seems to be all about.

The injury wasn’t voted upon by a jury or a god as punishment, senseless, it was imposed by a perfidious world of shit and injustice. Floods in one area, drought in another. Pain and suffering, the human condition, compromise. Grin, grit and bear it. Bare yourself, open window, the roll of a dice … fate is fatal.

Live long and prosper.

Everybody has a story worth listening to, said the asshole on the beach.

I was gazing fondly at the young woman’s derriere, nothing was hidden, and I heard the words, the story, as she stretched forward, her lips parted. Faces I could see beyond her, a young girl, so innocent and sweet (yeah, right). Juxtaposition imposed. Pink lips and a cute little kitten’s tongue, barely sticking out.

Everybody has a story worth listening to. You just have to listen and be patient, ask the right questions, in the right way.

Everybody has a story worth listening to: that includes me, it includes you, but it probably doesn’t include the dork who lives next door (right?).

Everybody has a story worth telling. Like the guy in the minivan from Dulles, returned from a long stay in Romania, going home, whatever that means, and how he talks: how backward and corrupt, dirty and banal, it seems here and now in the USA, compared to beautiful Romania.

Again, I see her lips.

 

Nudity.

Funny how they chuckle and grin when they see a naked body.

A funny sight this natural thing.

Like children excited, seeing something they think they shouldn’t.

Tantalized and stimulated, beside themselves with desire

(they want to stare, and touch).

But, mindful of the socially acceptable, they react like morons.

They laugh, make a joke of it.

Tonight they will relive it in their minds,

and they will be naked too.

Gone.

Posted: 2015-12-26 in Thoughts For The Day, Uncategorized

Yes, it’s come and gone and I am left standing. No apparent miracle, instead more rain than is good for anybody. Coal smoke and assholes choke. People die (inside they cry). Another day. Another chance to pray, move on (missed).

Gone.

Merry Xmas.

Posted: 2015-12-25 in Anja, Thoughts For The Day

Gradually accede to the inevitable.

As today becomes tomorrow.

And memories become as half-forgotten dreams, less tangible than vaguely familiar old movie scenes.

Except for the painful, the personal betrayals and hurts,

oh, Jesus, how they still smart!

 

Thinking hundreds of thoughts and not feeling at liberty to express a single one (the last one you tried, how awkwardly you articulated…). No one really understands or wants to hear. No one really cares. The spoken word is insufficient, and so often held against you – death by a thousand cuts.

And life.

I hold the candle and describe myself: Detached, Disappointed, Loner, Defiant.

Life is a Christmas movie gone wrong.

Melancholy as I reflect on what isn’t and see what is.

Happy Birthday, Jesus.

Xmas.

Posted: 2015-12-24 in Thoughts For The Day

Santa, the modern-day Jesus substitute. Because we want our kids to be able to believe in something, for a while, until they age and get cynical too.

It used to be that Santa was St. Nick, a follower of Christ himself, no doubt led by the Spirit to do some pretty special things, worth commemorating and reliving in future generations.

Now Santa is Coca-Cola and bullshit, capitalism and seasonal acts of kindness, suitable to assuage the guilt of generational, institutional greed … somewhat.

X-box games, dolls and electronics, suddenly half-price after Xmas day, after parents have disgorged (disemboweled) themselves to pay for their kids’ happiness (expectations, sigh).

Yes, that’s Christmas today. Happy B’day Jesus (humanity should weep)!

(Nonetheless, I do like the Xmas movies, hokey though they may be. The message is hope…)

Cокол 9

Posted: 2015-12-23 in Thoughts For The Day

When they spat on Elon, they pretended it was contempt, derision, the big men. In reality, the spit was much like a snake’s hiss, the big men could see the future, a threat to them and their interests. Their spit: a vulgar and fearful reaction to a challenger. Fear. Fully manifest. This week they wet their pants.

Congratulations SpaceX team.