Archive for April, 2016

Defiant.

Posted: 2016-04-30 in Esther, Fucked-Up Families

I am consoled with the fact that I am still standing,

defiant,

and that my enemies have heaped scorn and shit upon themselves.

(Verily, my worst day is better than their best!)

By Christ Jesus, I am freed from a millstone most heinous:

good riddance, good bye “family”.

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Tired and Tried.

Posted: 2016-04-30 in Esther, Fucked-Up Families

Tired.

Even my memories are jaded.

Faded.

Shaded by disappointment, lies, betrayal, hatred.

I gave all I could, and more than I should.

Family, really?

If my past was false, a big deception,

then what is my present, besides,

tired?

… 

Żubroń

Posted: 2016-04-29 in Blick!, Danuta, Thoughts For The Day

Well, there are doves, but they shoot them.

Peace has it’s price, after all.

Hawks too have been known,

to fly into glass windows

(human, societal constructs),

and fall to the ground,

squirming and writhing in bewilderment and pain.

“Where to next?” the Belarusian bison asked her friend the żubroń.

“Gotta be Buffalo, NY!”

Sometimes close enough is good enough.

Inexact.

Compromise and peace.

Silence.

Bliss.

Welcome to your holiday.

… 

You hear the people in the street,

they never run out of things to say,

no matter how banal,

they seem to derive pleasure from the act of putting out, communicating.

You hate that.

You hate the sound of your own voice (words are so much better when they’re within your head, right?); you hate the sound of clanging cymbals, honking horns, barking dogs and people working before 8am. Cacophonies of despondency, myriad confusions. People blocking your way, dementing, as they talk yet more bullshit.

You have run out of things to say. Except, perhaps, thank you for listening.

… 

 

Amazing, amusing, enthralling, appalling,

seeing social dynamics, at work.

Pecking order,

everyone has a place,

even if they don’t realize it,

it’s all about perception,

yourself

and others.

From a squawking birds’ nest,

to a teachers’ staff room,

to a sex-slave auction,

debased worth,

dollars and cents,

popularity,

power-base,

calculated to a hateful place value.

Social dynamics at work.

So, a few more people realized, remembered this year,

oh, the human penchant for so-called milestones,

isn’t publicity a wonderful thing?

And, how do *we* feel?

Hollow.

The added attention only serves to highlight people’s ignorance and ultimate apathy.

After distractedly devoting three minutes of half-attention,

they move on, banality beckons.

People are kinetic beings,

like polluted winds,

they move on,

affecting, effecting and infecting somewhere, someone else.

Do *we* ever move on?

(Only in my imagination…)

Generally, we are in a demented kind of kinetic stasis,

like atoms moving frantically, acting and reacting on instinct and memory, agitated, but not actually going anywhere.

(Where would you like to go?)

Home.

(What is “home”?)

A concept of comfort and belonging, safety.

(Is such possible in this world?)

… 

ANZAC Day.

Posted: 2016-04-25 in Blick!, Thoughts For The Day

Tired.

Mired.

Hired, abused and wasted.

Bribed.

Denied.

Decried, misused and wasted.

Circumsized.

Chastized.

Spat upon and hated.

Conspired.

Proscribed.

Circumscribed, and pushed to the edge.

Tired,

so tired

of this compromised life.

… 

Tennis is a dirty sport.

Imagine the contaminants the balls picks up, bouncing, skidding, and snotty-nosed ballkids’ fingers.

The stars are paid millions,

the grinders are paid nothing.

Matches, games, points are thrown,

drugs are taken.

Modelling contracts are signed,

the lucky get to indulge and wank.

Long gone are the days of wooden racquets the comparative size of a spoon.

But the pundits cry: today’s best are the best ever!

Broken, busted and disgusted,

Tennis is a dirty game.

Dagmar disliked dirt on her hands.

The thought of touching the ball, etc, then touching her whatever during the change of ends was, frankly, repulsing.

So, she was frequently seen wiping her hands.

People laughed.

Man plans, God laughs,

people react, man laughs.

XC skiers wear gloves.

Swimmers hands are cleansed in chlorine.

This is the world we live in.

Tennis is a dirty sport.

Life Today.

Posted: 2016-04-23 in Thoughts For The Day

Trying to avoid one obstacle hitting me from the side,

I maneuver,

and smash head-on into another.

Life today,

true love and compromise.

Indeed.

Life today,

a cautionary tale,

of random accidents

and unpredictable disappointments.

Accepting the apparently inevitable,

ceding to the authority of overworked experts

(who have already moved on to their next case),

we accept shit and go with the flow.

Opa, oh, Opa.

Truth emerges at our funerals,

if one cares to look and listen.

The righteous one has something to say

as we go into the flames.

Opa, oh, Opa.

Too good to be true?

No, too true to be good.

Come,

feel,

it’s all too real!

Bondage, slavery, the human condition,

one always tries to exploit another,

it’s how we get ahead.