Archive for January, 2018

Everyone gets what they deserve,


so they say.

Except me,

so it seems,

I get futility

and shit.

As far as I can see…




Dejected and hopeless,

you give up,

and why not?


No more resist!



enter abyss.

Decadence and loss,

calm acceptance?

Indulgence and revulsion.

Suck, suck, suck!

Let’s revisit

(did we ever leave?)

Moscow’s post-Soviet

Hungry Duck.




Fast forward, pause and quick reverse,

the tape twists

and, with it, my sanity.

Your hate and misunderstanding.

Your eyes, closed to all but your pain.

Epiphany in jeopardy!

I cry.




The music in my head…

it all sounds the same,


and tragic.

… Pain!

Enough was enough





The painful times, so pervasive,

when everything (but sleep)

seems so (fucking) futile.

This is life?




That thing which was a priority,

in a peaceful time of clarity,

in the cold light of a mid-Winter’s day,

somehow become impossible luxury,

in the bedlam of tonight’s complexity.

… Simple pleasure’s blown away.




Pripyat Ferris Wheel


In retrospect,

I say,

fuck Kiev’s

electricity supply!




Mururoa Atoll, 1970, French Nuclear Test


“You’d have to be an idiot to choose to be up this early,”

I reflected, groggy,

in pain.

“It’s not like we’re watching Sunrise over

Pacific Ocean.”




1960s, Vorkuta_


Now is a good time to be a telegraph pole.

Yesterday and tomorrow,

purges hollow.

In this world but not of this world,

we pray,

enlightenment today,

treasure will follow.




Tonight we’re gonna party like royals,

debauched and debased,

somewhere in between animals and demons,

my prince, my future king,


tonight you can fuck me up the ass,

hard and nasty, make me bleed,

take full advantage and

screw me dry, sir,

as monarchies tend to do.