Archive for the ‘Печали’ Category

Surok, 1987

As rain continues to falls in torrents

and my faith disintegrates,

negative acceptance gives

a slither of grim comfort:

he hates us

and wants us to suffer.

And then what?

It’s not as if I can rely on nature or humanity.

 

(To be continued…)

       

©SvetkaSamizdat

 

 

 

 

 

Сёстры печали

Another year, another problem

or ten, all at once.

Another day,

another construct to negotiate,

another thing to complicate and violate

my soul,

seeming, disintegrating hole.

Another morning,

another voice in my head,

confusing and accusing,

intruding, condemning.

(Internal, external,

screws tightening!)

Another storm wind blowing,

another drought,

another rain deluge in the wrong place.

Another tragedy, another strife,

another agony, another injustice,

another smothering of life.

Tired, so drained,

I’m ready to give up,

as

another countless baby is born.

 

(To be continued…)

       

©SvetkaSamizdat

 

 

 

 

 

TVs, Old-Stlye & Green Screens

She obsesses over how the female body is portrayed,

she’s a mother, she worries about her daughters.

“Television,” the Producer says definitively,

“Should be a reflection of real life.”

Really? I ask,

Who would watch that?

… Or, conversely, if TV does reflect “real life”,

what a *really* messed up world we live in!

Either way: how sad.

 

(To be continued…)

               

©SvetkaSamizdat

 

 

 

 

 

Hoefletelegram

Preacher’s preaching a message the people like, it suits the mood of the times, indeed, everybody wants to move beyond condemnation and guilt.

I feel it. I get it. I understand it. Grace and forgiveness, the Love of God manifest, a new Covenant. Yes!

And yet, strongly within, experience and wisdom are speaking to me, over-riding the emotion.

Then, Preacher cites the example of no speed limit on German Autobahns. And it’s over for me.

(Americans and their obsession with liberty!)

I shout at the TV: “And they used to have free-season on Jews too! But that doesn’t make it right!”

Wisdom speaks to me, it’s innate and overwhelming, the world would be a better place if actually more people were aware of and compelled by feelings of condemnation and guilt. They might actually stop being so self-centered and act in the common good, considering others, abiding by the “Golden Rule”.

This is my angst-ridden seasonal and timeless message.

Take it as you will.

 

(To be continued…)

               

©SvetkaSamizdat

 

 

 

 

 

Dzhentileski_ Melankholiya

Lighthearted haiku,

to raise and improve my mood:

Yes, I’m still waiting …

 

(To be continued…)

               

©SvetkaSamizdat

 

 

 

 

 

Vremya

Wonderful, beautiful ideas,

I am driven to think, explore.

Strands enticing in myriad directions,

intriguing …

But life and time intrude,

like a neighbor’s chainsaw,

“reality”, hah,

the night is bleeding away.

Ultimate frustration, desperation,

despair,

I’m all too aware …

Tomorrow’s clock is ticking.

 

(To be continued…)

 

©SvetkaSamizdat

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mormon Tabernacle Choir 2

My neighbor’s a self-centered asshole

(he’s not the only one).

Of course, there’s a story there,

a reason for the meanness,

but I don’t want to know it.

 

(To be continued…)

 

©SvetkaSamizdat

 

 

 

 

 

 

v2

So many thoughts,

so many ideas,

insights, realizations,

paths to

enlightenment.

So many voices outside

and in,

clamoring,

trying,

vying,

to make me blind.

 

(To be continued…)

 

©SvetkaSamizdat

 

 

 

 

 

Pied Piper

When the idiots tire of hearing their own voices,

clanging, hollow noises,

peace and wisdom will reign.

… Little chance, alas.

Sadly the idiots are the most confident people

and they have risen to the highest positions in our world.

They are our leaders and teachers, our movers and shakers,

our celebrities, our “everything”,

fools and tools, we call them “stars”

and they guide us

further into the abyss.

 

(To be continued…)

 

©SvetkaSamizdat

 

 

 

 

 

 

Horror Movie

I checked into the hotel on Halloween, but really it could have been any night. A guy had already invited me to watch a movie, share the fright.

“Nein, danke. Ich verzichte!”

I made sure to lock the door.

What is it with Americans, Brits, Anglo-Saxons, Celts …

and their addiction to horror?

Don’t they get enough in their everyday lives?

Or is it a perverted fantasy, craving the satisfaction of seeing someone suffering misery, worse than their own?

 

(To be continued…)

 

©SvetkaSamizdat