Sometimes,
many times,
you know that, really, you don’t want to know.
Knowing is a burden,
a form of responsibility you don’t need or want,
yet you are drawn in,
compulsively,
destructively,
fear of missing out,
banality,
written on your tombstone.
©SvetkaSamizdat
…
In a past life,
I was sent into space,
launched in a rocket,
I forget the time and place.
Traumatized, atomized,
blasted and dissected,
everything lost meaning,
form and being.
…
Nevertheless,
I have a feeling that I wasn’t dog or ape,
hopefully then, I was Félicette,
Parisienne Hero Cat,
not, alas, a nameless,
forgotten rat.
©SvetkaSamizdat
…
Outside is unlikable,
so I stay in the hotel.
For a time,
I watch the amount of television I can bear.
The commercials are a killer:
(im)morality lessons from frozen French-Fry companies,
and legal loan sharks proudly promoting usury as a viable option.
Then there’s the news:
you can have anything, if you pay,
even an education.
Lies, manipulation and exploitation.
It gets to the point where I can’t take anymore,
The noise, the clanging, the shit.
I turn the TV off, throw the remote control out the window,
and brave the streets myself.
Welcome to hell.
©SvetkaSamizdat
…
I read the letter, received.
To me it feels both hollow & surreal,
meaningless & meaningful.
It stirs up old emotions & new,
drains me
and fills me with dread.
©SvetkaSamizdat
…
Immediately before, during and after climax,
when I have no control,
ecstatic for the moment,
a cascade of negative images,
faces,
hurts and enemies,
floods through my mind’s eye.
…
Utter violation,
perverted blasphemy.
…
It’s distressing
and
depressing
to be assaulted thus
in a private moment of bliss.
©SvetkaSamizdat
…
The government wants to execute you!
But their heart isn’t in it,
fully,
otherwise it would already be done.
The pretence of justice,
trial and jury,
would be dispensed,
abiding by convictions,
the system would do as expected,
and you would be shot.
But instead you are hung
and left hanging,
in limbo,
in hell.
…
Often, you wish they would shoot you,
like a dog,
just get it over with,
but society cares more about dogs
than people.
…
Uncertain fate,
neverending circle of hate.
Inside, torment
is never dormant.
…
Yes, they have decided to torture you
in the way that only life and living
can do.
…
The government wants you
to execute yourself.
©SvetkaSamizdat
…
If only people would be quiet,
shut up and listen,
they’d soon realize
(if only they’d try!),
I have something (way!)
more interesting to articulate,
than the banalities
they repeat,
day after day.
©SvetkaSamizdat
…
Ah, yes, the
neverending legitimacy and wannabe
pissing match.
Basically,
we all think we’re special
and we assert our interests,
trashing others’,
with hateful lies and destruction,
cloaked in bogus justification,
because we’re older or younger,
more this or that,
and deserve greater than the human next door.
…
The man beats his chests like an ape,
standing proud,
while up above aliens look down
and see
a small man with wet pants
and urine down his leg.
©SvetkaSamizdat
…
Last night, this morning,
the dream,
it made you excited,
it gave you hope and sustenance,
it made you smile.
And now, after a day full of wakefulness,
other people, dross,
you feel drained,
yes, ready to sleep
but, hurting,
too tired to dream.
Afraid, indeed, to dream:
knowing that tomorrow
reality will slap your face once more,
reminding,
a dream,
it seems,
is the best you can hope for.
©SvetkaSamizdat
…
So, you’ve achieved the wet dream your parents instilled in you,
well done, big man,
you’re a manager now.
A controller, manipulator, facilitator,
a façade of power.
Above all, you’re a despicable exploiter.
Still, you’re a manager,
you have an expensive car
and your parents are proud.
It doesn’t matter what you manage,
that’s an inconsequential detail,
you have no real interests or passions,
just power and prestige.
You have your own office,
you can shut the door,
you have a desk,
behind which
you can masturbate
until the cows come home.
Big man.
Spunk.
Junk.
True trash.
Managerial class,
head up ass.
Gets paid a fortune and
leaves the world a worse place.
©SvetkaSamizdat
…
