Archive for the ‘Existential Angst’ Category

At school

your children are learning about our way of life,

as somebody sees it.

(Way of life?

I scoff!

You think we have a *way* of “life”?)

Like brutal Buddhists, perhaps,

who can sentence you to hell on earth

or put you to death

because it is not really the end

(conscience clear),

you will be reborn as a grasshopper.

Way of life and death,

endless cycle of impossible,

beyond apprehension,

outside human comprehension.

 

©SvetkaSamizdat

 

In my earnest endeavors tomorrow and yesterday,

I am reminded again:

the only person you can rely on is yourself,

and then,

only some of the time.

 

©SvetkaSamizdat

 

In my earnest endeavors to be more authentic,

I fear I am presenting as

a parody of myself.

 

©SvetkaSamizdat

 

Increasingly desperate,

I flail my arms,

I push buttons.

My intentions genuine,

ardent, needy.

The results,

inconsistent,

out of my hands.

Alas, despair…

People, systems,

no one cares!

 

©SvetkaSamizdat

 

Sometime during the TV commercials,

somewhere in between ads for life insurance, sports betting and pantyliners,

she decided to slit her wrists.

Driven to madness.

Society story.

The end.

 

©SvetkaSamizdat

 

I don’t wanna be

a cum stain on history.

Pray, let me be *me*.

 

©SvetkaSamizdat

 

The vagaries

of our imaginings

of time.

Unreal.

A metaphor.

Shit!

Does any of *it* matter!

Does your life, as you see it,

your ideas of priority,

remain constant,

important?

Like, last night’s essential endeavor,

now but a faded memory,

lost in the mud of today,

dog faeces.

 

©SvetkaSamizdat

 

Do you remember when the exception

became the rule?

An exact moment,

a sliding scale?

Life’s progression,

travesty and pain,

your enthusiasm wanes

matures: disdain.

Child-like excitement,

excess, indulgence…

Joie de vivre…

Becomes adult depression,

frustration,

repression;

with information,

realization,

and mortification.

Alas,

some sunsets

are not worth watching.

 

©ddr7hd

 

What Beauty?

At the end of the day,

it’s like,

well, that’s that,

and was there any point?

Frustrated, violated,

implicated, complicated…

Screwed over by people

and inanimate objects,

screwed over by societal

and weather systems,

screwed over by life, death,

revolution and resolution,

screwed over by everything,

so it seems,

night and day,

no end.

Catch your breath, if you can,

before it is gone forever.

Sigh.

Yawn.

Scorn.

Wishing others unborn.

Disenchanted,

the giant seeks solace in sleep.

©ddr7hd

 

Shit!

How’d it get so late so early?

How’d happiness become but a vague memory?

Night-time,

and I’m locked outside,

stuck in freezing fog,

I embrace my apparent fate,

and lie on the hard, unforgiving ground,

… will I ever awake?