Archive for the ‘Faith screwed with.’ Category

TV preacher,

ardent as ever,

talks of the end times prophesies

being realized

(you see it more and more everyday,

the Book of Revelations actualized,

these truly are the last days…).

So, act now, the announcer says,

buy the book,

Revelations & End Times Explained,

for a limited time only…

“Now available in special leather binding,

legacy edition,

a great gift and family heirloom,

to pass on to your grandchildren…”

 

©SvetkaSamizdat

 

Advertisements

You pray,

you believe,

you hope.

Life goes on,

people suck you dry.

You get disenchanted,

disappointed

and exhausted.

You pray,

you try to believe,

you want to remember

what hope felt like.

One day you give up.

Soon, you will die.

 

©SvetkaSamizdat

 

The TV preacher talks money

and stewardship

and faith.

Like, how you need to trust God’s promptings,

the money is His,

after all,

so,

deal appropriately.

… Then they slickly slip in an infomercial:

Send your “love gift” today for the full “message”.

Ha, ha…

… Do I trust the “prompting”?

No!

Capitalist exploitation pretending to be Holy.

Shit! That’s low…

 

©SvetkaSamizdat

 

I thought it was a Baptism,

*Beautiful*.

Turns out it was a movie,

for others’ entertainment,

I’m left broken.

 

©SvetkaSamizdat

 

The preacher has two main churches:

one in the capital of the South,

one in New York City,

the capital of Capitalism.

I was in town, so as to speak,

and,

having seen the preacher on TV,

opportunity and providence aligned,

I went to a sermon.

I was engaged by the Word,

the preacher was in a rich vein,

congregation inspired,

motivated,

righteously hyped.

Then after an hour,

the preacher said a few banal words,

basely suggesting: “offering time”.

Buckets were passed around,

as hands reached into pockets and purses,

and the vibe changed from holy expectation to human desperation.

(Buy your blessing!

Don’t be shy…

Small plastic trinkets available in the foyer, only $49.99, plus tax…)

Strange.

I’d thought New Yorkers would be more “sophisticated”,

cynical, one might say.

Turns out they’re just as desperate to believe as everybody else.

 

Ideologies and philosophies,

much like preachers on TV,

they all have their shortcomings.

All that is human is subject to corruption,

avarice and pride,

as we pretend to comprehend the Divine,

the paragons we favor, decide upon, preside,

as we discriminate against another,

every day, we blaspheme.

One way or another,

we *all* blaspheme.

 

Preacher says we’re in this world to be Kings and Priests,

not bit-part actors or mere minions,

it’s in the Word, after all,

the righteous, by Jesus, have dominion.

I want to believe.

I need to believe.

But I get no respite,

no relief from the shit of life,

people and systems screwing me over,

constantly,

drowning at the bottom of the barrel.

And, yes, I can do all things through Christ Jesus,

but why does it always have to be the hard way,

for me,

every day like pushing a massive boulder up a narrow mountain trail.

So tired,

pissed off and rejected,

pissed upon and dejected.

It seems I’ve been forgotten,

failed.

A king and a priest?

Like a Romanov and Rasputin?

1916, 1917,

all semblance of propriety lost,

bludgeoned and beaten.

(No, Jesus, no…)

 

I see the joyful people,

singing and praising in church,

giving thanks to God,

they seem genuine.

And I feel strange emotions,

something of an eyebrow raise.

Mixed sentiment, indeed.

Anger, partly.

Because, as much as I respect and deify God,

I don’t feel I have much to give thanks for.

And guilt, that I am feeling this way.

 

Hubris seeping through every pore,

the preacher made his point:

“Give long and prosper”.

… Lay claim and take…

The congregation happy –

materialism,

suspicions and hopes

confirmed.

American exceptionalism,

some say, scoffing, as they burn the flag.

Actually, it’s a global thing, imbuing all desires,

religions, frenzies, the secular and faux-holy,

acts of desperation, terror and exploitation.

We think we can profit at someone else’s expense.

The Universe is a poorer place.

 

Preacher says you need to praise your way outta the situation, victory comes through worship, a supernatural gift from God.

Preacher says you aint got a car, then praise God you live near a bus stop.

Preacher says you lost your left hand, praise God you got a right one.

Preacher’s gotta preach no doubt,

whooping and a-hollering.

Preacher’s gotta give us a reason to hope.

But, I don’t get it:

Preacher’s logic says the more shit I’m in, the more I oughtta give praise…

Thankya, Jesus!

… But, really?

God, my Father?

Love, and hope?

In this world we have dominion?

It makes me question everything.

Praise Machine.