Archive for the ‘Faith screwed with.’ Category

I see the joyful people,

singing and praising in church,

giving thanks to God,

they seem genuine.

And I feel strange emotions,

something of an eyebrow raise.

Mixed sentiment, indeed.

Anger, partly.

Because, as much as I respect and deify God,

I don’t feel I have much to give thanks for.

And guilt, that I am feeling this way.



Hubris seeping through every pore,

the preacher made his point:

“Give long and prosper”.

… Lay claim and take…

The congregation happy –


suspicions and hopes


American exceptionalism,

some say, scoffing, as they burn the flag.

Actually, it’s a global thing, imbuing all desires,

religions, frenzies, the secular and faux-holy,

acts of desperation, terror and exploitation.

We think we can profit at someone else’s expense.

The Universe is a poorer place.


Preacher says you need to praise your way outta the situation, victory comes through worship, a supernatural gift from God.

Preacher says you aint got a car, then praise God you live near a bus stop.

Preacher says you lost your left hand, praise God you got a right one.

Preacher’s gotta preach no doubt,

whooping and a-hollering.

Preacher’s gotta give us a reason to hope.

But, I don’t get it:

Preacher’s logic says the more shit I’m in, the more I oughtta give praise…

Thankya, Jesus!

… But, really?

God, my Father?

Love, and hope?

In this world we have dominion?

It makes me question everything.

Praise Machine.


In an increasingly globalized world,

full of increasingly isolated individuals,

who believe they’re more interconnected than ever before,

because they live through a screen

and get the occasional “like”…

In a world, where knowledge is more accessible than ever,

but people eschew the clever,

where “Reality TV” whores and junkies are paragons of aspiration, fame and fortune, the more messed-up you are the better…

In a world where everyone is more American and Americans have never been more hollow,

where idiots get multi-million Dollar book deals,

and no one reads a book…

On a planet that is dying, overpopulated and frying,

where people cringe from a bright blue sky

and seem hell-bent on polluting,

besmirching all that is pure and natural,

Indonesian rainforests burning, corruption endemic,

God-money rains down toxic ash, Singaporeans choking…

There’s always a financial bottom line, in every endeavor,

in our race to the bottom of the pit,

lowest common denominator,

we have forgotten what it means to be human.


I “comforted” myself with such thoughts as I considered what had to be done.

To kill a mockingbird, some might say is wrong, but in context what can’t be rationalized, condoned?

Preacher says I have dominion in this world.

Yea, I proclaim thus as the winds howl and tear my house apart.

Yeah, dominion.

I used to hold priests and nuns in high esteem. Now I am told that they are some of the greatest agents of evil in this world. Imagine yourself as the child involved? Details are given but the full depravity remains shrouded by the mists of time and common decency, public radio dictates.



Priests and Nuns, Cardinals and Scum.


Listen to the testimony reported.

Use your imagination.

Imagine the child’s horror, raped then chastised and blamed, “agent of Satan”, left alone, condemned, what thoughts of damnation must have circulated in his/her mind.

Really, why do they seem to hate children so much, these men/women of God?


Really, no doubt they felt they loved children too much.

In one (sick) sense they did.

But, people, neither love nor God inhabited their souls or actions.

Family viewing, surprisingly sleazy, the things parents expose their kids to, sexualized, no doubt about it, inappropriate, the door is opened, and there will be hell to pay.

Body paint washes off, people come and go, memories remain.

Strange what passes for family entertainment.

Strange families.

Strange world.

Not surprisingly most abuse occurs within the family unit, and most abusers are “normal” family men.

In a world where self-righteous religious leaders constantly question your faith, back door, front door, round about, subtle and overt, implying condemnation: why would I be surprised?

Sodom and Gomorrah, Babylon, chaos, blasphemy and confusion, The West. … Your enemy believes in God more than you do.

Preacher’s full of shit and hubris, has no idea of the torment which is *real* life, he keeps twisting and contorting The Word, making you feel under more condemnation, even when couching it all in terms of the Gospel of Grace. Back door shanking, you collapse, bleed, die. He gets richer, rises higher more adulated, sanctified in the eyes of men.

Preachers, full of shit, have no idea of the torment which is real life…

We sigh, raise our eyebrows, shake our heads, collectively, individually.

Still, we want to believe.



Preacher, keep on preaching. We’ll keep listening, hoping for some hope, despite it all.

God Cares.

Posted: 2015-09-25 in Faith screwed with.

I want to believe, but it’s hard when you hurt so much. When every fucking effort, even every faith declaration, goes to shit, in this world of pain. … Yes. I see the rusty blade, I think of using it. I want to end this half-life.

Yes, reach out and touch faith, especially in times of hardship and pain (like now), just avoid the purveyors of the business model of “the church”, yes, those who misquote and abbreviate Scripture. … Spontaneous prayer is good (the 1600s Scots has some good ideas during the big chill – is burning a witch ever bad? … Of course it depends on the reality and the motives and the hallucinogens involved…), I recommend it.