Archive for the ‘Faith’ Category

I cast a glance,


and wonder what hope

the future?

(Given the assholes who surround me!)

So, I pray

and believe,

for sanity,

in better.

By faith and philosophy,

my reality exceeds

their vision.








The TV preacher sounds hollow

to my ears,

around the wall,

in the kitchen.

“Make it happen!”


he’s saying,

squeezing out the mystery,

the Glory

of the Holy Trinity.




No, I am not collectively responsible.

I am not historically indicted.

Adam was Adam,

Romans, ditto.

I did not,

and will not,

drive any nails into Christ’s flesh.

Indeed, naturally pious,

I am me,


by Faith,





“Waiting for God”:

by which many mean death,

I, however, desire life.

It is intensely human to wait

upon the Divine,

so much seems beyond our power…

life, death,

everything in between

and beyond,

despair, wonders,

miracles, pain,

questions, answers,

peace, blood,


We’re all waiting for God,

one way or another,

Believer or not,

we are incomplete,

and we all






You come upon the scene,

Soviet Lithuania,

some kind of Summer camp,

idyllic amongst the trees.

You walk forward and meet a girl,

she smiles at you,

in Russian you ask what it is,

this gathering,

“Ateitis!” she replies.

Atheism, you assume and raise your eyebrows,

remembering the complicated history of religion here,

lingering paganism, some say, and what of the Jews?

Liquidation and simplification, both good means and ends,

the Party is supreme,

you smile thinly,

then blink

(so briefly!)


reopening your eyes

the girl and the scene have disappeared,

a strange awakening,

right or wrong,

the mirage is gone.

And somewhere in the background

Church bells ring.






And yet, despite all the shit

and everyday scum,

I believe in miracles.

By Christ Jesus,

I overcome!




So, I watched Touched By An Angel

(It’s funny the things they let/make you watch on the communal TV in this prison…)

And I’m touched with how, apparently,

God sends His Angels to people who don’t believe in Him.

Actually, that kinda sucks, I think

(Like, where’s my Angel, I believe and I totally need…),

Indeed, as I say my prayers,

I think it all very unfair…

And, I consider, that if you don’t believe in God,

then He shouldn’t believe in you.

I try and convey that as best I can to one of the guards,

he laughs, mocks, pushes me down.

Why, I reflect, would I even try?


I give up.

I acquiesce.

Solitary confinement, I exhale.

And… nothing.

… Nothing.


Silence is bliss.

Perhaps that is my Angel,

after all, maybe I have one:

her name is





He asked me if I remembered the halcyon days of childhood,

where things were hard but simple.

Joy and knowledge gained through such pursuits as learning the Paschal Greeting in as many different languages as possible.

Writing it down,

it took time,

and effort,

a job well worth while,

True Spiritual outreach…

mostly now forgotten.

“Do you remember?” he asked, once again.

“Yes,” I replied.

Christ is risen!

Indeed, He is risen!




Privet, Pripyat.

Tainted Earth,

long before ’86

Adam and Eva fell

(vice versus versa,

we’re in this together).


we all fall,

human beings disgrace,

yesterday, today, infinity,


no hope,

but perchance







He told me it was Easter and showed me his work,

grinning, expecting praise.

Repulsed, I exclaimed: “It’s disgusting!”

He slapped my face,

blood and spit, sharp taste.

Intelligent discussion,

aspects of humor,

expressions of engagement,


(we are thinking animals, God blessed with cognisance and free will).

Blasphemy, however, deliberate offence…

line drawn.

Only God truly forgives

and you denigrate the Perfect Sacrifice at your peril.