I stare into the abyss,
and down my leg I piss.
In my dream I am naked,
not nude, alas.
Exposed,
not composed.
Yet, it is an artificial construct,
suiting the other’s agenda.
Misunderstood
and misrepresented,
decisions and derisions already made,
I know discussion is futile.
…
Open.
Society.
Closed.
Internal exile.
Domestic abuse.
©SvetkaSamizdat
…
The less I knew
the nicer it seemed.
… Ignorance is bliss …
Hopeful expectation
blown away,
gone,
missed.
Reality, alas,
negativity,
possibility destroyed.
©SvetkaSamizdat
…
Sayonara, Gospoda.
Hope and dreams flushed away.
Disillusionment and pain,
my remains.
Life
and
decay.
©SvetkaSamizdat
…
Democracy is about choices,
so they say.
So,
if I could see the end result,
what would I choose,
and would it make any difference
if everyone else voted otherwise?
New York City,
fallen from high
splattered on a sidewalk.
Or Petersburg,
seats behind the SKA bench.
Pretence and manipulation.
Grafting and grifting into another day…
Or death.
…
In Lithuania, it has been said,
suicide is and/or was a national sport.
What does it mean to be alive
and/or dead?
Now or then?
Empires explode and implode.
Individuals expire…
Perhaps.
…
Perhaps.
Perhaps this is an unfinished,
unsatisfying saga.
©SvetkaSamizdat
…
So, this is what freedom tastes like?
Democracy?
The freedom to choose (albeit with little chance of getting what you actually want)…
In the midst of a Moonless night,
a half-frozen Bockwurst,
you bite and chew,
fatty and vaguely smoked tasting,
mass-produced, soul-less
… West German wannabe Kolbasa.
Alas,
this is not what I signed up for.
©SvetkaSamizdat
…
I wait for a smile,
some hope.
… I get nothing
but hurt.
©SvetkaSamizdat
…
I used to have something
but now I am spent,
empty,
hollow,
bitter,
asunder rent.
©SvetkaSamizdat
…
Sick joke.
…
After the deluge, flood,
gut-wrenching damage,
heart-broken people,
sunshine has the temerity to break through,
shine.
I grimace in the glare.
What solace?
Perverted grace.
Salt.
… Mockery and farce.
©SvetkaSamizdat
…
People,
the ultimate pawns.
Atomized
or collectivized,
deluded, denuded,
used,
despoiled, destroyed.
Pawns.
People:
expendable,
broken toys.
©SvetkaSamizdat
…
Public privations…
humiliate,
frustrate,
desecrate
(the soul,
and everything that could be beautiful).
…
I close my eyes and try to think of something else as I crouch over the bucket. But the guards’ jeering laughter is hard to ignore.
©SvetkaSamizdat
…
