Archive for the ‘Mira’ Category




Both sides of the barricade,



and everywhere in between,

we all have Pamyat,

feeling and belief.




we can respect our Pamyat

and respect each other,


with hope and charity,

honoring the commandment,

that we love one another,

as He has loved us.


indeed and in fact,

the Savior has been provided,

God born as flesh,

and Sacrificed.


however divided,

… we don’t have to be enemies.



Samantha Smith visited me last night,

my how she has grown!

She smiled knowingly

and reminded me that we’re all the same,

just inconsistent

in application, desire, situation, desperation, and focus,

time and place,

depending who our neighbours are,

and whether we’ve been used and abused,


Apart from that, we’re all pretty much the same,

she smiled, simpering coquettish, arms akimbo,

as she whispered: “fucked and forgotten”.

She drank a glass of red wine,

then another,

as we talked.

I asked her about life and death,

she said she’d finally found peace.

She pause appropriately,


Stupidly, I felt compelled to fill what I mistook for a void:

“Current affairs?” I ventured.

“No thank you!” she exclaimed.


we played a word-association game,

something a Freudian taught her,

intelligent fun.


On and on.



it had been a long day and night,

though stimulated,

tiredness hit and

I fell asleep.

Strange dreams inside the goldmine…

An hour or two later

I awoke and she was gone.


I woke up and found myself outside of the Mir,

it was unpleasant,

it quickly became a way of life,


Village, community, commune, collective, safety, peace, the whole world as I knew it,


Imagine being excluded!

With no hope of returning to something which probably never truly existed (except in our collective imaginations) …


“What is ‘truly’?” I asked myself, from my new (every morning) perspective.


I prefer sleep.


I didn’t want to think about myself anymore so I turned the TV on.

Robert Gates and his ego filled the screen.

One moment he was talking about how “cold” and “evil” Vladimir Putin was and is.

Next moment he was reminiscing on how, when he was US Secretary of Defense (well, la-di-da!), he always liked to remind the President of Russia that he (Gates) had been Head of the CIA at the same that he (Putin) had been a lowly KGB agent in Dresden (wow, what a diplomat!)

The pursuit of world peace.

Like 1986, they minted coins in the midst of a meltdown.

Blah, blah, blah.

I turned the TV off.

Peace, indeed.



I woke up.

And there was no golden dawn.

A pale, cloud-obscured sunrise instead,

a head full of confusion,

and my ears ringing with lies.


I got up and switched the buzzing TV off, the national anthem had long-since come and gone.

Oh, for the almost lost memory of a test pattern! It was a certain kind of functional peace.


Obeying my body and soul,

I opt out,

for a season or three,

I need peace,

screw your outward pretences,

fuck society’s ideas,

this is me,


The moment

and the existence of life,

perchance to sleep and dream,



close enough,

I say,


the right stuff.

The essential, personal rapture,

no one else understands.