Archive for the ‘Pain’ Category

O, Katyusha,

what was (so beautiful!)

and what could have been

(more and beyond!)


like the rocket’s red glare,


in the night sky.

(O, how I wanna go back!

And forward, somehow…)

But alas,

I’m so sad,

the ship has apparently sailed.

And I am alone,

and feeling


without you.

All I can do is stare into space,

imagining that you are too.





Oozing with a sense of injustice,

every painful step, my feet feel bruised, pummelled, they throb.

Every glimpse out the window, a stab in the heart,

a reminder,

a betrayal.

Inconsiderate, self-absorbed, hateful humanity.

Perfidy takes many forms,

my friend,

strangers and fucked-up families.

The unending end.





the ultimate pawns.


or collectivized,

deluded, denuded,


despoiled, destroyed.




broken toys.




You wake up and realize

that it’s a conspiracy…

They all know each other

(messed-up family,

inbred community,

missing humanity),

*indeed*, it’s a conspiracy,

and *you* are the enemy.




They Push Me So Far… They Drive Me To The Edge, And Over…

Self-inflicted wounds,

they ruled.

Their decision on me,


before and after the fact.




I slept.

I woke up, heart racing,

body drenched in sweat,

wakeful nightmare,

painful memory,

in a cell with 11 other…



Is this how they see me?

Such filth!?

Hungry-looking, one flashed her teeth,

And came towards me with a shank.

… Sweet Jesus, help me!




Increasingly desperate,

I flail my arms,

I push buttons.

My intentions genuine,

ardent, needy.

The results,


out of my hands.

Alas, despair…

People, systems,

no one cares!




Sometime during the TV commercials,

somewhere in between ads for life insurance, sports betting and pantyliners,

she decided to slit her wrists.

Driven to madness.

Society story.

The end.




I don’t wanna be

a cum stain on history.

Pray, let me be *me*.




He asked me to justify Operation Priboi,

Baltic deportations.

Well… Kulaks!!!

… Okay, really,

I can’t, justify,

but… Russians, Ukrainians, Crimeans, Koreans, et al,

we all went through such things,

ipso facto

welcome to the family

(bonds of tragedy)…