Archive for the ‘Pain’ Category

Neverending headache,

perpetual pain,

every aspect of my being,

disappointed and repulsed

by the manifestation

of this existence.

… OK, let me re-state:

“People suck!”

 

©SvetkaSamizdat

 

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The kind of headache that’s all-consuming,

throbbing,

debilitating,

crippling.

Secretly, you fear a brain tumor.

Pervertedly, diagnosis offers relief.

 

©SvetkaSamizdat

 

I need to sleep…

But my mind is racing,

full of injustices

swirling, contorting,

ugly perfidy,

enemies looming, sneering,

and I’m angry,

I want to fight.

Tormented and demented

in the middle of the night.

Life,

betrayed, it seems,

every step of the way.

Feeling so hard done by.

Beauty for ashes?

Where’s mine?

 

©SvetkaSamizdat

 

Sayonara, Gospoda.

Hope and dreams flushed away.

Disillusionment and pain,

my remains.

Life

and

decay.

 

©SvetkaSamizdat

 

O, Katyusha,

what was (so beautiful!)

and what could have been

(more and beyond!)

gone,

like the rocket’s red glare,

high

in the night sky.

(O, how I wanna go back!

And forward, somehow…)

But alas,

I’m so sad,

the ship has apparently sailed.

And I am alone,

and feeling

incomplete,

without you.

All I can do is stare into space,

imagining that you are too.

 

©SvetkaSamizdat

 

Oozing with a sense of injustice,

every painful step, my feet feel bruised, pummelled, they throb.

Every glimpse out the window, a stab in the heart,

a reminder,

a betrayal.

Inconsiderate, self-absorbed, hateful humanity.

Perfidy takes many forms,

my friend,

strangers and fucked-up families.

The unending end.

 

©SvetkaSamizdat

 

People,

the ultimate pawns.

Atomized

or collectivized,

deluded, denuded,

used,

despoiled, destroyed.

Pawns.

People:

expendable,

broken toys.

 

©SvetkaSamizdat

 

You wake up and realize

that it’s a conspiracy…

They all know each other

(messed-up family,

inbred community,

missing humanity),

*indeed*, it’s a conspiracy,

and *you* are the enemy.

 

©SvetkaSamizdat

 

They Push Me So Far… They Drive Me To The Edge, And Over…

Self-inflicted wounds,

they ruled.

Their decision on me,

imposed,

before and after the fact.

 

©SvetkaSamizdat

 

I slept.

I woke up, heart racing,

body drenched in sweat,

wakeful nightmare,

painful memory,

in a cell with 11 other…

*criminals*.

Shit!

Is this how they see me?

Such filth!?

Hungry-looking, one flashed her teeth,

And came towards me with a shank.

… Sweet Jesus, help me!

 

©SvetkaSamizdat