Archive for the ‘Prayer…’ Category

Privet, Pripyat.

Tainted Earth,

long before ’86

Adam and Eva fell

(vice versus versa,

we’re in this together).

Indeed,

we all fall,

human beings disgrace,

yesterday, today, infinity,

stained,

no hope,

but perchance

pray

miraculous

Grace.

 

©SvetkaSamizdat

 

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I don’t wanna be

a cum stain on history.

Pray, let me be *me*.

 

©SvetkaSamizdat

 

Open Kiska.

Open Minds.

Thinking.

Meditating.

Believing.

Miracles.

Believing possible.

Bearing Fruit.

Beautiful,

Golden Apples of Hesperides.

Have Faith.

 

©SvetkaSamizdat

 

Alone in my cell, I prayed.

Soul sunk, I mumbled,

trying to believe,

but feeling despair.

And nothing else.

And no one.

And hopeless.

Empty prayer.

Until something within told me to be ardent,

bold,

forthright…

Very well…

I gulped and said, with all I could muster:

“Fuck you devil!”

Indeed.

A beautiful prayer.

At once,

confidence and clarity returned to my being.

 

©SvetkaSamizdat

 

It doesn’t matter…

YES, IT DOES!

It’s okay…

NO, IT ISN’T!

Sigh,

the pains,

your selfish, self-centered

actions and words

cause.

The pain,

the angst,

may you feel it tonight,

yourself,

a kind of hell (comprende?)

and may you moderate

your apparent hate

for me,

pray, considerate.

Else,

Tomorrow,

Fall.

 

Lepa sela lepo gore,

world of shit,

world of squalor.

I pray silently,

(lest you hear)

for deliverance

from your noise,

distractions,

and destruction.

Your blasphemy of life.

 

Politely declining an invitation

that I know is wrong.

Praying, listening to the voice within,

obeying my moral imperative,

doing the right thing.

Unexplainable, perhaps,

incomprehensible,

but totally justifiable

to myself.

And that

is what matters.

 

You know just the words

that get under my skin.

You know the buttons to push,

drive me to sin.

You don’t understand me,

you don’t want to…

I love you,

I hate you,

you are my reason for being,

problem is, I’m only happy asleep.

Pissing contest

par excellence,

MAD,

the sooner the better.

I destroy you,

you destroy me,

ourselves together, alone,

forsaken by all others,

forever and never.

Amen.

 

One year follows another,

and I am painfully reminded,

amongst the whirlwind of confusion and bad memories

(everything seems to conspire against me,

against us),

and I am so sorry,

it truly stabs at my heart,

my beloved friend,

if only I could do more…

If only I could pave a way

in

to

the Book Cover Life.

If only I could break the stones

and mend the heartbreak,

change words, actions,

malevolence, perfidy,

perversions,

things that should never have been.

Rest, reprise, reflect, regenerate, resurrect.

Hope in a savior beyond words, what else?

(And I pray and I believe.

Tomorrow,

sweet dreams to follow,

I see you front and center.

Book Cover Life,

where you deserve to be.)

 

I hear my voice speaking

and realize it’s not my own,

neither the words nor the tone,

try as I might,

I have no control,

much like the tension in my face

and the wrinkles creasing,

ever increasing.

Sick and tired of being compromised.

Manipulated.

Stultified.

Desecrated.

Violated.

Implicated, extradited and extricated

by external forces.

Taken away from myself.

Compromised.

Shaped into a me that I don’t want to be.