Глава 1988: Meditation For Today

I didn’t ask to be born.

I didn’t ask for this or that thing to go wrong.

Nevertheless, I live, and *try* to believe the best.

 

(To be continued…)

       

©SvetkaSamizdat

…

 

 

 

 

 

Neighbors…

Pray about it!

Sure, OK,

but I resent my sacred prayers

being devoted to

pissants.

 

©SvetkaSamizdat

…

 

 

 

 

 

Whatever Your Mind’s Eye Can Muster…

Hope and *Believe*

in Miracles.

Because, what else do we have to grasp?

Cleopatra’s asp and fear?

No! … Despair sucks us down.

I know it’s so,

as pain persists,

but, if and when you can,

resist.

And believe in *some* kind of miracle,

a possibility,

whatever your mind’s eye can muster.

Look beyond the horizon:

see epiphany and bliss.

Then turn inward, friend,

intimate, honest, candid,

and speak to God.

Cry,

speak and listen.

Commune

with

Peace.

 

©SvetkaSamizdat

…

 

 

 

 

 

Everyday Catastrophe (aka Every Day Catastrophe)

Haunted by the feeling that something catastrophic,

bad,

is about to happen (like yesterday),

I seek stability,

the perpetually missing element,

security.

 

©SvetkaSamizdat

…

 

 

 

 

 

I Want To Make That Scumbag’s Life A Misery…

But the voice in my head tells me:

Revenge would be wasted on such an unthinking shit.

“OK, if not living revenge,

then how about snapping his neck,

extinguishing his exploitative, selfish life?”

…

Mistreated and abused,

what can our hero do?

If revenge is futile

and liable to complicate,

what chance justice, redress?

(In a world that doesn’t care…

Un monde sans pitié…)

…

“Dear God,

feel my pain

hear my cry!”

 

©SvetkaSamizdat

…

 

Досье XXXIX: Мирный атом, Ева и Адам (Peaceful Atom, Eva & Adam)

Privet, Pripyat.

…

Tainted Earth,

long before ’86

Adam and Eva fell

(vice versus versa,

we’re in this together).

…

Indeed,

we all fall,

human beings disgrace,

yesterday, today, infinity,

stained,

no hope,

but perchance

pray

miraculous

Grace.

 

©SvetkaSamizdat

…

 

Досье XXVII: Let Me Pass, Let Me Be, Unburdened, Unenslaved, Free.

I don’t wanna be

a cum stain on history.

Pray, let me be *me*.

 

©SvetkaSamizdat

…

 

Досье XXIV: Golden Apples of Hesperides

Open Kiska.

Open Minds.

Thinking.

Meditating.

Believing.

Miracles.

Believing possible.

Bearing Fruit.

Beautiful,

Golden Apples of Hesperides.

Have Faith.

 

©SvetkaSamizdat

…

 

A Beautiful Prayer

Alone in my cell, I prayed.

Soul sunk, I mumbled,

trying to believe,

but feeling despair.

And nothing else.

And no one.

And hopeless.

Empty prayer.

Until something within told me to be ardent,

bold,

forthright…

Very well…

I gulped and said, with all I could muster:

“Fuck you devil!”

Indeed.

A beautiful prayer.

At once,

confidence and clarity returned to my being.

 

©SvetkaSamizdat

…

 

Projekt 8.25 (subset #71: The Things You Do)

It doesn’t matter…

YES, IT DOES!

…

It’s okay…

NO, IT ISN’T!

…

Sigh,

the pains,

your selfish, self-centered

actions and words

cause.

…

The pain,

the angst,

may you feel it tonight,

yourself,

a kind of hell (comprende?)

and may you moderate

your apparent hate

for me,

pray, considerate.

Else,

Tomorrow,

Fall.

…