Archive for the ‘Prayer…’ Category

Haunted by the feeling that something catastrophic,

bad,

is about to happen (like yesterday),

I seek stability,

the perpetually missing element,

security.

 

©SvetkaSamizdat

 

 

 

 

 

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But the voice in my head tells me:

Revenge would be wasted on such an unthinking shit.

“OK, if not living revenge,

then how about snapping his neck,

extinguishing his exploitative, selfish life?”

Mistreated and abused,

what can our hero do?

If revenge is futile

and liable to complicate,

what chance justice, redress?

(In a world that doesn’t care…

Un monde sans pitié…)

“Dear God,

feel my pain

hear my cry!”

 

©SvetkaSamizdat

 

Privet, Pripyat.

Tainted Earth,

long before ’86

Adam and Eva fell

(vice versus versa,

we’re in this together).

Indeed,

we all fall,

human beings disgrace,

yesterday, today, infinity,

stained,

no hope,

but perchance

pray

miraculous

Grace.

 

©SvetkaSamizdat

 

I don’t wanna be

a cum stain on history.

Pray, let me be *me*.

 

©SvetkaSamizdat

 

Open Kiska.

Open Minds.

Thinking.

Meditating.

Believing.

Miracles.

Believing possible.

Bearing Fruit.

Beautiful,

Golden Apples of Hesperides.

Have Faith.

 

©SvetkaSamizdat

 

Alone in my cell, I prayed.

Soul sunk, I mumbled,

trying to believe,

but feeling despair.

And nothing else.

And no one.

And hopeless.

Empty prayer.

Until something within told me to be ardent,

bold,

forthright…

Very well…

I gulped and said, with all I could muster:

“Fuck you devil!”

Indeed.

A beautiful prayer.

At once,

confidence and clarity returned to my being.

 

©SvetkaSamizdat

 

It doesn’t matter…

YES, IT DOES!

It’s okay…

NO, IT ISN’T!

Sigh,

the pains,

your selfish, self-centered

actions and words

cause.

The pain,

the angst,

may you feel it tonight,

yourself,

a kind of hell (comprende?)

and may you moderate

your apparent hate

for me,

pray, considerate.

Else,

Tomorrow,

Fall.

 

Lepa sela lepo gore,

world of shit,

world of squalor.

I pray silently,

(lest you hear)

for deliverance

from your noise,

distractions,

and destruction.

Your blasphemy of life.

 

Politely declining an invitation

that I know is wrong.

Praying, listening to the voice within,

obeying my moral imperative,

doing the right thing.

Unexplainable, perhaps,

incomprehensible,

but totally justifiable

to myself.

And that

is what matters.

 

You know just the words

that get under my skin.

You know the buttons to push,

drive me to sin.

You don’t understand me,

you don’t want to…

I love you,

I hate you,

you are my reason for being,

problem is, I’m only happy asleep.

Pissing contest

par excellence,

MAD,

the sooner the better.

I destroy you,

you destroy me,

ourselves together, alone,

forsaken by all others,

forever and never.

Amen.