Archive for the ‘Torture’ Category

Next thing I knew, I remember being on a plane,

long-haul flight,

a special kind of torture,

sardine can humanity,

all-pervasive drone.

My fellow passengers seemed to be enlivened and excited.



Why, oh why,

can’t they contain themselves?

Sit quiet and still,

headphones on

listening to Led Zeppelin,

zoned out,

like I

was trying to be.






so tired.

Drained, sunk, mired.

Я чертовски устала…

Ya chertovski ustala…

But it’s Spring,

they tell me,

I should be feeling alive.






What Winter?

I realize, with chagrin, I didn’t get to hibernate,

I am the definition of perpetually disturbed.




Harsh words once spoken,

regardless of intention,

absorb into brain.




So tired, feeling.

So old, feeling.

So much exploited, dragged through the mud

and left for dead.

I need to sleep.

I *need* to sleep.

But how much life do I have left?

(How much I have missed!)

Can I afford the luxury of dreams?

Can I afford the poverty of dearth?




It’s late.

I stare at the Test Pattern,

pretty in a sense,

when quiet,

serene technology of the 20th Century.

But then

the deafening tone shrieks,

public service at work,

to make sure you turn the TV off,

except I can’t.

It’s stuck.

And I’m stuck.

The piercing repeats

and repeats,



Wrong time, wrong place.

A special kind of torture.

I try to shield my ears,

to no avail.

Life, today.





the powers that be

decided to be…




sow yet more frustration…

Induced dementia…

Two channels:

one showed chess,

one fencing.

The switch on the set,


allowed me to change between the two.

Frankly, I couldn’t decide,

(a bizarre kind of dilemma).

My mind numb,

confusing commentary,

I wanted to understand,

instead I felt dizzy.

Totally overcome.


I fell down.